Thursday, February 14, 2008

'col loses her shit. news at eleven.


For a day in which nothing terrible happened, this sure was a crappy day. It was my second day in a row of recognizing a series of thoughts that go something like: I am stupid, and clumsy, and ugly, and a bad friend, and--wait just a gosh-darn minute. I have PMS. I can tell because while I might feel like any one of those things on a given day, it is so unlikely that they are all true together at the same time that there just has to be some other factor in play.

I got to work and everything was chaos, and no one had responded to either of the questions I'd asked, and I went straight down the hole: Cookie's gone and now I'm not part of a team any more, I'm just supposed to do all of my job and all of his job and all of everything, plus nobody thinks I can do it, hell, even I don't think I can do it... never mind that no one has said any such thing.

I just needed to take two steps to the side and look at the girl having the meltdown and think, aww, poor dear. She just needs a bath and a cup of tea. Tragically I could only accomplish one and a half steps to the side, and so while I can see quite clearly that I'm being ridiculous, I can't stop feeling like everything's awful and bursting into tears.

I apologize for my worse-than-usual abuse of italics. Throw me a pity party?


Ben said...


Boethius said...

Ok, take some breaths, then go look at something cute to remind yourself that it's not as bad as it seems. I would also like to echo the remarks of the previous caller and hug you through the computer-thingy. Then more breaths.

claire said...

I think you're smashing. Breatheitsonlybooksbreathe. x