Friday, April 28, 2006

it's not one thing after another, it's the same damn thing over and over

I have recently become completely obsessed with Television Without Pity's Battlestar Galactica recaps. If you haven't seen all the way through to the end of the season, you should probably avoid them, 'cause the index page is spoilery, but after that, go. Go and read. The guy who's writing the most recent ones adores the show so much that, reading him, I want to go and rewatch episodes to see what he sees. I don't always agree with him, but how can I resist someone who refers to Gaius Baltar as "the twitching, wriggling Queen of the Squirrel People?"

There might be one eensy other reason that I have immersed myself in something imaginary, and that's to take my mind off what's really happening this week, which is that I'm losing my manager Jason. He's transferring to another store, so it's not like he's dead or something, but it's still a little like being gut-punched. You don't realize how much you come to rely on people until they aren't there anymore.

Jason, man, I don't know how to say any of this without crying. You just can't assume in a situation like retail that you'll be lucky enough to get a manager who trusts you, who listens to you, who will give you his loyalty the way you've given it to us. It has been so important to me to know that if I have something to say, I can just go and say it into your steady eyes, because even when you don't agree with me I have always felt like you understood. You get me. And that's not something I can take for granted either, because let's face it, I'm kind of a freak. Your respect and your love have propped me up on so many bad days, and I know I'm not alone in that.

I have also had enough jobs now to know that it's hard to stay in touch with work friends when one of you leaves. Your connection is so specific that sometimes it doesn't translate when you try to move it to another part of your life--or sometimes it's so obviously not possible that you don't try. So I don't know whether we'll be friends in a year, but I hope you know too that it's not 'cause our friendship isn't real.

You were our CAG. You were a good one. And like Starbuck or god help us, Apollo, they can fill your position but they can never replace you. I miss you already.


Friday, April 21, 2006

because I love math so much

I have spent the last several hours

1) reading yet another book about finances and financial decision-making
2) creating an Excel spreadsheet that will tell me horrifying things about how I handle my money

Now I think I'm going to go get a beer and see if there isn't something really, really mindless on television. When I've recovered from the shock I may try to figure out whether there's anything there worth sharing with y'all.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

how could you use a poor maiden so?

Oh, IKEA, why do I let you treat me this way? When will I learn not to trust you?

I have a sofa with a slipcover. A washable slipcover. Just throw it in the machine and presto! Clean couch. Except that the little wee tag on the side of it informs me it cannot be tumble dried. How many people, exactly, have the space to hang dry a slipcover and seven cushion covers? More to the point, where in my apartment am I supposed to find the room?

Thursday, April 13, 2006

"That's it! I'm tired of being the one who eats bugs and gets the funny syphillis! From now on, I am nobody's butt-monkey."

Some people sit down and have a good, deep examination of their lives at New Year's. Some people do it at Samhain. And some people do it when they freak out and realize that the current plan of attack is playing out something like the Charge of the Light Brigade. Guess which kind I am.

I also have one of those personalities where, once I see a set of choices, I have to pick one. Like, yesterday. Ambiguity? Not my best thing. With all that vagueness out there, I'll get to the point, which is that this last week I went down to part-time hours at my job. It's all part of my clever plan to take scary poverty in trade for improved health.

The irony is therefore not lost on me that this week, I have succumbed to the horrible gooey springtime cold that's going around. I envisioned this time being spent making salads and doing yoga, but instead it's been more watching Buffy reruns and huddling on the couch eating ice cream to console myself. Also sleeping. A lot of sleeping.

I did dredge up the energy to put a whole bunch of library books on hold, so I'll be getting right on with that self-improvement thing as soon as I can sit up for long periods of time.


Before plunging over a precipice of virus-y self-pity, I managed to attend Sarah and Paul's Jack and Jill casino night. It was beyond awesome to see so many people I love all in one room and happy. I am so lucky.