Friday, April 28, 2006

it's not one thing after another, it's the same damn thing over and over

I have recently become completely obsessed with Television Without Pity's Battlestar Galactica recaps. If you haven't seen all the way through to the end of the season, you should probably avoid them, 'cause the index page is spoilery, but after that, go. Go and read. The guy who's writing the most recent ones adores the show so much that, reading him, I want to go and rewatch episodes to see what he sees. I don't always agree with him, but how can I resist someone who refers to Gaius Baltar as "the twitching, wriggling Queen of the Squirrel People?"

There might be one eensy other reason that I have immersed myself in something imaginary, and that's to take my mind off what's really happening this week, which is that I'm losing my manager Jason. He's transferring to another store, so it's not like he's dead or something, but it's still a little like being gut-punched. You don't realize how much you come to rely on people until they aren't there anymore.

Jason, man, I don't know how to say any of this without crying. You just can't assume in a situation like retail that you'll be lucky enough to get a manager who trusts you, who listens to you, who will give you his loyalty the way you've given it to us. It has been so important to me to know that if I have something to say, I can just go and say it into your steady eyes, because even when you don't agree with me I have always felt like you understood. You get me. And that's not something I can take for granted either, because let's face it, I'm kind of a freak. Your respect and your love have propped me up on so many bad days, and I know I'm not alone in that.

I have also had enough jobs now to know that it's hard to stay in touch with work friends when one of you leaves. Your connection is so specific that sometimes it doesn't translate when you try to move it to another part of your life--or sometimes it's so obviously not possible that you don't try. So I don't know whether we'll be friends in a year, but I hope you know too that it's not 'cause our friendship isn't real.

You were our CAG. You were a good one. And like Starbuck or god help us, Apollo, they can fill your position but they can never replace you. I miss you already.


1 comment:

sanonymous said...

you don't know me but... your blog name is from buffy. and that is cool. yah anya!