Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Note to self: in case of zombie attack, Mike is bait.

INT. LUNCHROOM. 'col, Steve and Mike are waiting for a meeting.

'col: I'm paranoid.

Mike: Really?

Steve: Nicole, what do we do in case of zombie attack?

c: That depends. Do we have any idea what the scale of the problem is? 'Cause it affects strategy.

M: Don't you need onions?


[Two beats of total silence.]


S: Onions?

c: Not unless you're planning to season the zombies.

S: Do you mean garlic?

M: Yeah, garlic!

c [exasperated]: That's vampires, Mike!

M: So how do you kill zombies?

c: YOU DESTROY THE BRAIN.

3 comments:

felonious funk said...

but the next question becomes, HOW do you destroy the brains? do you use a sledgehammer? do you use electro-shock therapy? or do you just have to think about it hard enough so the secret will do it for you?

....or, do you eat the brains?

'col said...

myself? I'm thinking rifle. it's all about the distance weapons, baby.

do you suppose I'm going to cause a zombie invasion by "thinking undead thoughts?"

Jo Stockton said...

oh, how I laughed at the season the zombies line. This is why I pester you to blog more often.

J.