Our employer has generously signed a bunch of us up to do basic first aid training, so I spent my day today in a conference room, rehearsing all the horrible things that might happen on my watch. Observations so far:
1) Nobody in the first aid videos ever appears to be in a hurry. Um, your coworker? Has just collapsed and isn't breathing. Perhaps a little rushing is in order. I understand one is not to go charging into an emergency situation without assessing possible risk, but I don't think that applies to walking briskly toward a phone to dial 911.
2) Apparently, as per the videos, every work place has a first aid kit right next to wherever an accident is about to occur! Isn't that awesome? No video for us of panicky people scrambling across a crowded sales floor to try and get the gloves out of the kit that's aaaaall the way over there.
3) I am better equipped than I thought I would be to do two solid minutes of chest compressions and rescue breathing, but I sure wouldn't want to have to do it for very long. It's hella hard work.
4) Blood onscreen? Dizziness and trembling. Blood in real life? Calm, reasonable response. Adrenaline is a strange strange thing.
5) I really missed my calling as a drill sergeant. Ask Benny, who had to listen to me count off his CPR. He very graciously did not punch me in the mouth, for which I commend him.
AAAAH! A BEETLE! A HUGE FUCKING--
Ahem. Excuse me. There was a slight incident of enormous terrifying beetle. We now resume our regular blog posting.
So yeah, aside from a monstrous tension headache brought on by the possibility of being responsible for people's lives, I'd say today went okay. We're going to be covering brain injury in the next class, which is Friday. Lucky us.
First aid is something I've been meaning to do for ages now, and I'm actually very grateful for the opportunity to learn, because in my experience, knowing you have to be responsible is bad, but not as bad as feeling responsible and having no idea what to do. And this way, when the zombies come, I'll have a slightly better chance of making it out alive.
It all comes back to zombies.
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5 comments:
I find definestration is a good first-aid procedure. This allows you time to escape to a quiter place where you don't have to deal with the responsibility of saving someone's life.
Oh...and I'm glad everyone's getting this training, because I GUARANTEE that if someone gets injured at work bad enough to need serious treatment, it will be me. Seriously, I have more accident reports than the other 64 employees put together. Tomorrow I think I'll lick some electrical outlets and see what happens.
As for the zombies, as I've said before, all you need to learn is choreography. They can't resist it.
Damn...I meant to say "quieter" up top there...stupid keyboard and its complex web of lies...
why is there no emoticon for "rubbing your temples like it's going to turn back time"?
Cause that would make things too easy. Also only Cher can turn back time.
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