That's it. I'm calling my children Dick and Jane and be done with it.

I should probably be somewhat concerned with the number of "kids these days..." conversations I've had of late. I know--I know--that too much self-righteousness is a giant road sign that says YOU WILL SOON BE SORRY YOU DISPLAYED YOUR SUPERIORITY COMPLEX IN PUBLIC. But sometimes I look at the world around me, and I can't believe what I'm seeing. I found a perfect example on Baby Names World this morning. Ahem:

"Yesterday in the grocery store while I waiting to check out there was the cutest baby in front of me so naturally, being obsessed with names, I had to find out what it was. The mother told me...
Demelza Elixabete. No joke! I was shocked, and so happy, I thought these names were only used on the boards here, I was so glad to see them used on an actual baby.. I told her what a great naming style she had and she laughed and told me her hubby wanted to name her McKenzie, good thing momma got the vote.
P.S. they call her Demi (DEM-mee) for short, so cute"

I...WHAT!? I keep shaking my head and blinking in the hopes that my vision will clear up and I'll discover that it was all a terrible mistake. The baby was named what!? Why would-- But just-- I can't--

No. Just no.