"I haven't seen any smoke...yet."

This is not a reassuring thing to hear at the beginning of your work day, especially when your store smells strongly like someone set fire to a piece of Tupperware. (How do I know what flaming Tupperware smells like? ...it's a long story.) It's particularly unsettling if you happen to be on the Health and Safety committee, with the knowledge of the WSIB card in your wallet popping up every time you forget to move your brain to something else. Like a screensaver of potential guilt and anxiety.

The maintenance guys assured us there was nothing wrong, unlike the time the lights in the children's department spontaneously caught fire.

Which really makes my workplace sound like a deathtrap, and I assure you it's not, being full of carefully inspected Health and Safety equipment.